


all i ever wanted (for both of us)

by ironccap



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hannibal Lecter Loves Will Graham, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Fall (Hannibal), Scars, Will Graham Loves Hannibal Lecter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26802550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironccap/pseuds/ironccap
Summary: Will took Hannibal's hand in his and it reminded him of the time Hannibal had done the same for him. Had held his hand so delicately. Had bandaged it up with such care. Will interlaced their fingers together, and that's when he saw it.Puncture wounds.Puncture wounds covered with scarred tissue. On Hannibal's ring finger.As if someone had tried biting it off. Had tried ripping his finger from his hand.Or: a post-fall fic where Hannibal and Will have a talk about Will's marriage and how Hannibal found out about it.
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, past Will Graham/Molly Graham - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 245





	all i ever wanted (for both of us)

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea of the puncture wounds from [graham](https://mobile.twitter.com/wrathotl) on twitter! again, thank you so much for letting me use this!!! 
> 
> also thanks to [jos](https://mobile.twitter.com/floresnimri) for the Hades/Persephone idea! 
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/hannib4l) to talk about hannigram anytime!

They were laying in bed. It was almost midnight, the moon shining through the open window. The curtains weren't closed. They never were. Will preferred it that way. He liked watching Hannibal's face, illuminated by nothing but the moonlight.

They were laying in bed, next to each other. Will was turned on his left side, facing Hannibal who was reading a book. Something about Greek mythology. 

They were laying in bed and Will let his hands wander all over Hannibal's body. Careful, as if the man in front of him was made of porcelain. Going from his legs to his thighs, Hannibal let out a small shudder. Will continued, though. His fingers traced Hannibal's abdomen, his chest. His arms, and the vertical running scars there. Scars he had once indirectly inflicted. Scars from a past. A past long gone. Will bent over and gave them a butterfly kiss. 

He took Hannibal's hand in his and it reminded him of the time Hannibal had done the same for him. Had held his hand so delicately. Had bandaged it up with such care. Will interlaced their fingers together, and that's when he saw it.

Puncture wounds. 

Puncture wounds covered with scarred tissue. On Hannibal's ring finger. 

As if someone had tried biting it off. Had tried ripping his finger from his hand.

"Where'd you get this?" Will asked softly, his voice cutting through the silence. He didn't remember Hannibal getting this particular injury.

Hannibal looked up from his book, eyebrows raised. He followed to where Will was holding his hand and his face fell.

"In a fight with Mason Verger. We had a dispute," Hannibal answered. It was too calculated. Too quick. 

"Mason Verger?" Will asked. 

"Yes. When he captured us," Hannibal said, visibly swallowing. Will thought back on the day they fought Mason. The day Hannibal carried him back home. _(The day he broke Hannibal's heart in two.)_

He tried to think of bloodied fingers. He couldn't picture it. 

"Alright," Will answered. 

"You don't believe me."

"No, I don't."

A silence fell. Will looked at Hannibal's face. He saw the lines on his forehead, signaling that Hannibal was in distress. There was something wrong, Will could sense it. 

"I thought the times of lying were long gone," Will said. 

"Who says I'm lying?"

"Those wounds look like bites from someone with very sharp teeth." 

"And?"

"Mason Verger didn't have pointed canines."

It was only when he spoke the words out loud, that realisation finally dawned on Will.

Mason Verger didn't have fangs, that was true. Will knew someone who _had_ , though.

Oh. 

Oh _no_.

"Will—," Hannibal started, clearly ready to change the subject. He was avoiding it. Was avoiding this. Will could see he wasn't ready for what would follow. But he needed to know.

"Why?" he asked, his voice not as steady as before. 

"It doesn't matter, Will," Hannibal said. 

Will turned to him, taking both of the other man's hands in his. He was almost afraid when he took Hannibal's other hand, and inspected his fingers carefully. 

His heart dropped to his stomach when he saw the same white lines on his other ring finger.

"But it does," Will said. "It matters to me."

Hannibal tried avoiding Will's gaze by casting his eyes downward. 

"It was long ago," he said. 

"But—,"

"It's not a big deal, Will. Just _drop it already!_ " 

It was by far the first time Will had heard Hannibal raise his voice. The man was always ever so composed, calm. Even when he was angry, he never showed it. Until now.

"If it's not a big deal, why don't you just _tell me_?" Will yelled back. "Why are you so desperate to keep everything hidden from me?" 

"I don't keep everything hidden from you. You're the person who knows me more than I know myself." 

"Apart from this, apparently."

"Will—,"

"No, it's whatever. It's fine, I'll just go back to sleep, forget I asked."

"Please, Will, don't be mad."

"Goodnight, Hannibal." 

He realised the impact of the words a beat too late. _Goodnight, Hannibal_. It reminded him of another life, a long time ago. _Goodbye, Hannibal._ When he'd stomped on his heart, left it beyond repair. Tore out his own in the process, too. 

The words must've reminded Hannibal of it as well, because only two seconds later, he sat upright, grabbing Will's arm. As to signal, _please don't go_.

"I had been in the Baltimore State Hospital for the criminally insane for over a year when Alana visited me. She told me she had news. A letter, from you," Hannibal started, his voice rough.

"I never wrote her—," Will started. Hannibal cut him off.

"It was your wedding invitation."

Oh, right. Will had sent them out to people he had worked with, including Jack and Alana. At the time, it had felt like the polite thing to do. 

He hadn't sent Hannibal one, though. He couldn't.

"I didn't eat. Didn't sleep. I couldn't. It was stupid, but I felt so betrayed by you. I felt like I was Hades, and you were my Persephone. Leaving me here, testing your luck with your Adonis."

"You weren't supposed to find out," Will answered weakly. Why did he feel bad? 

"The only thing I could think of, was escape and murder you on your wedding day. I felt so angry. Alone."

"You didn't succeed."

"No I didn't."

"Maybe that's a good thing. I think I would've let you."

"What?"

"Murder me. I would have let you do it, willingly."

Now it was Will's turn to avert his eyes. His words weighed heavy on him. In a way, he _was_ just like Persephone. He'd eaten the pomegranate seeds a long time ago and was stuck with Hades forever. It wouldn't matter how many times he'd attempt to escape. He and Hannibal would always be connected to each other. They'd always be stuck in each other's mind palace. 

"You weren't unhappy with her, Will," Hannibal said.

"I wasn't. But I wasn't truly who I was supposed to be. I wasn't who I am with you," Will admitted. _This_ is my becoming, he thought.

"I thought I would never see you again, Will," Hannibal said. 

"Neither did I, back then."

"I couldn't stand the thought of you happy with someone else. Someone who wasn't me. It felt wrong. You were supposed to be _mine_."

"Wasn't I?" Will said. There was no point in denying it. He _had_ been Hannibal's from the start. Even when they were so far apart. Even when Will had tried to build up a new, normal life. Even then, he'd still been Hannibal's. They were connected, conjoined, _one_.

He would know him, even in death, at the end of the world

"Yes, you were. And still, you married her. You were mine but _she_ had you. I was angry. At you. At her. Mostly at myself. Looking at my hands every day, it became too much," Hannibal said. He took a deep breath. 

Will looked down again and saw how Hannibal was digging his nails into his palms, drawing blood.

"So, you—,"

"I didn't want to see them, my ring fingers, empty, without a wedding band. A constant reminder of how I could've had you, if I hadn't lost you," Hannibal said. "One night, I sank my teeth in them, deep."

"When?" Will didn't know what else to say.

"It was a year after Alana told me about the letter," Hannibal admitted. "You were celebrating your anniversary, I was sent to the ICU, pouring my own blood all over the white tiled floors. I think it was rather fitting."

"Maybe it was," Will said, whispering. He took Hannibal's hand and kissed the scar. "But I won't let it happen again." 

"Are you certain?" Hannibal asked. Will could feel the doubt creep into the statement. He was having none of it.

"Yes, I am," he answered. He continued by kissing Hannibal's scars on his wrists again, and the one on his cheek. "I'm the only one that gets to mark you,"

"You're mine."

"I'm yours. And I won't leave you." _Not this time. Not ever again._ "Thank you for telling me this, Hannibal."

Hannibal smiled at Will, his eyes filled with tears, one lonesomely rolling across his cheek. 

"I still regret it, you know," Will added. Hannibal turned around, raising an eyebrow. 

"Regret what?"

"Not running away with you when I had the chance. I could've saved both of us a tremendous amount of pain."

"Maybe. But it would not have been the same," Hannibal said. "Your becoming needed its time."

"And now I'm here," Will said.

"And now you're here, yes."

"Has the teacup returned to its original state?" 

"Not its original state, no. A few pieces got lost along the way," Hannibal said, pausing for a moment. Will knew he was thinking about Abigail. He was too.

"A teacup doesn't have to be perfect. Things rarely are," Will whispered.

"You are."

 _Oh_. 

"Stop it."

"I mean it, Will."

"We should sleep," Will said, reaching to turn off the light, hiding his flushed cheeks.

"We should," Hannibal said, laying down on his cushion again. He sounded fond. "Sleep well, Will."

"Sleep well," Will answered, snuggling up against Hannibal's back.

 _I love you_ , he thought. He didn't say it, though. Not yet. Not _now_.

After all, they still had their eternity laying in front of them. And Will wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon.

This was all he had ever wanted. 

It was beautiful.


End file.
